Moving to a new country can be amazing! There are so many exciting places to see, delicious foods to try, and adventures to have. But even with all that excitement, it's natural to feel a little lonely sometimes. Being in a new place without your usual friends and family can be tough, especially when you're trying to connect with people from a different culture and speak a different language.
If you're finding it tough to make friends in a foreign country, you're not alone. Even celebrities like Adele have shared their struggles with feeling isolated after moving abroad. She often talks about how challenging it was to build new connections while missing her loved ones back home. With the right approach and some helpful strategies, you can create a meaningful social circle in your new home. It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed by these emotions.
Why Is Making Friends Abroad So Difficult?
Building friendships in a foreign country brings unique challenges, but understanding them can help. Here are some common challenges:
- Language Barriers and Humor: When you’re not fluent in the local language, casual conversations and humor can be difficult to navigate. Jokes might not land as you intend, and this can lead to awkwardness (7). Even if your language skills are strong, there’s often a gap in how humor is understood across cultures.
- Cultural Differences: Every culture has its norms, and adjusting to them can take time. Social interactions might feel different, and certain behaviors that are friendly back home might come off as unusual or impolite in your new country (9). This can make you hesitant to socialize.
- Lack of a Support Network: Many expats leave behind their primary support networks of family and friends, which can make settling in harder (8). Starting fresh, with no one around who knows you well, can feel isolating.
- Work and Financial Pressures: When you’re focused on establishing yourself financially or getting settled in a new job, it can be difficult to find time for social activities (2). These responsibilities can take up most of your energy, leaving little room to build a social life.
6 Steps to Build a Supportive Social Circle in Your New Country
While these challenges are real, they’re not unbeatable. With a little effort, you can build a strong social network and feel at home in your new country. Here are six steps to help you make friends:
Step 1: Use Social Media to Connect with Local Communities
Social media can be one of the most helpful tools for finding people in a new country. Platforms like Facebook and Instagram have numerous local groups where expats and locals meet to share experiences and even organize meet-ups. Joining groups specific to your interests, location, or background can give you a chance to connect with others who may share similar challenges and interests (1).
For example, if you’re interested in cooking, joining a local “expats who cook” group can be an easy way to find people with similar passions. Many groups plan regular gatherings, which can be a comfortable way to meet new people in a relaxed setting.
Step 2: Join Classes and Activities You Enjoy
Participating in classes or community activities can help you meet people naturally. When you share an interest, like yoga, cooking, or language learning, conversations start more easily. Consider signing up for a language course, a cooking class, or even a community fitness event. Each activity provides an environment where everyone is focused on learning something new, making it less intimidating to strike up a conversation (1).
Volunteering can also be a rewarding way to meet people while giving back to the community. Local volunteer organizations welcome help in various areas, from animal care to food distribution. Not only does volunteering let you connect with like-minded individuals, but it also helps you gain a deeper appreciation of your new community and culture.
Step 3: Create Familiarity in Your Environment
Where you spend time matters when you’re building friendships abroad. If you become a regular at a local café, park, or bookstore, you’ll likely start recognizing familiar faces. Over time, this familiarity can make it easier to start conversations. It’s a simple way to create small connections that can eventually lead to friendships (3).
Living in shared accommodations can also make a big difference. Many expats find that living with roommates or in community housing naturally leads to friendships as you share common spaces and routines (6). Even if you live alone, creating regularity in where you go can help you feel more comfortable and less isolated.
Step 4: Connect with Colleagues and Fellow Expats
Workplaces and expat communities offer great social opportunities. If you’re working abroad, consider attending after-work events, company outings, or just having lunch with coworkers. These settings give you a chance to connect with people outside of a strictly professional environment, which often leads to friendships (11).
Expats communities specific to your country or interests can also be helpful. Many cities have social groups for expats from different backgrounds, allowing you to meet people who may share similar experiences. This way, you have the chance to form bonds with others who understand what it’s like to live abroad.
Step 5: Be Open and Friendly
A friendly attitude goes a long way. Anthony Bourdain, the famous travel host, often spoke about how he made friends across the globe by showing genuine curiosity about others’ cultures. His openness and interest made people feel comfortable around him.
Ask people about their culture, share stories from your own, and show an interest in learning about new things. Often, people are eager to share their culture with someone genuinely interested, and this openness can create a welcoming atmosphere that leads to deeper connections (11).
Step 6: Host Small Gatherings
Once you’ve met a few people, make an effort to stay connected. Hosting a small get-together can be a comfortable way to bond, especially if it’s just a handful of people. A dinner, game night, or casual coffee meet-up at your place can help everyone relax and feel at ease.
After meeting someone new, a quick follow-up message can go a long way. Sending a text to say you enjoyed meeting them or suggesting a future meet-up shows that you’re interested in a real friendship. Keeping in touch over social media or messaging apps can help maintain the connection, even if you’re both busy (4).
Going Deeper: Building Local Connections
Building friendships with locals can enrich your experience. Research shows that expats who connect with host country nationals often feel more satisfied and experience less homesickness (3). Learning the language, even if it’s just a few phrases, can help break the ice. And don’t be afraid of mistakes—most people appreciate your effort and will often enjoy helping you learn (10).
When Julia Roberts’ character in Eat Pray Love moved to Italy, she slowly formed friendships by learning the language and showing a genuine interest in the culture. Just like in the movie, building friendships with locals gives you a sense of belonging and helps you understand the world around you more richly.
Final Thoughts: Making Friends Abroad is Worth the Effort
Making friends abroad isn’t easy, but it’s worth the effort. Each interaction, gathering, and shared activity helps you create a network that can make your new country feel more like home. The process takes time, but with each step, you’re building a social circle that brings warmth and support into your life. For additional tips, resources, and mental health support specifically for expats, visit Expathy.org. Expathy offers more insights and resources that can help you navigate expat life and feel at home, no matter where you are.
References
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2. Dumon, W. (1986). Problems faced by migrants and their family members, particularly second generation migrants, in returning to and reintegrating into their countries of origin.. International migration, 24 1, 113-28 . https://doi.org/10.1111/J.1468-2435.1986.TB00105.X.
3. Hendrickson, B., Rosen, D., & Aune, R. (2011). An analysis of friendship networks, social connectedness, homesickness, and satisfaction levels of international students. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 35, 281-295. https://doi.org/10.1016/J.IJINTREL.2010.08.001.
4. Kubovcikova, A., & Bakel, M. (2021). Social support abroad: How do self-initiated expatriates gain support through their social networks?. International Business Review. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ibusrev.2021.101894.
5. Kumar, A. (2016). Adaptability in life and work.. Science, 353 6302, 954 . https://doi.org/10.1126/science.353.6302.954.
6. Meier, G., & Daniels, H. (2013). ‘Just not being able to make friends’: social interaction during the year abroad in modern foreign language degrees. Research Papers in Education, 28, 212 - 238. https://doi.org/10.1080/02671522.2011.629734.
7. Oduwaye, O., Kiraz, A., & Sorakin, Y. (2023). A Trend Analysis of the Challenges of International Students Over 21 Years. SAGE Open. https://doi.org/10.1177/21582440231210387.
8. Shoko, M. (2015). Munatsi Shoko Abstract After leaving their home country, international migrants are faced with a challenge to seek a new family, friends, support networks, accommodation and employment. Married migrants may be forced to live separately from their spouses.. Journal of Social Development in Africa, 30, 7-29.
9. Tang, Y., & Zolnikov, T. (2021). Examining Opportunities, Challenges and Quality of Life in International Retirement Migration. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph182212093.
10. Westcott, H., & Maggio, L. (2016). Friendship, humour and non-native language: Emotions and experiences of professional migrants to Australia. Journal of Ethnic and Migration Studies, 42, 503 - 518. https://doi.org/10.1080/1369183X.2015.1064764.
11. Williams, C., & Johnson, L. (2011). Why can’t we be friends?: Multicultural attitudes and friendships with international students. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 35, 41-48. https://doi.org/10.1016/J.IJINTREL.2010.11.001.
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